As I look at my life and the life of so many dear loved ones around me, I am seeing a world that is stricken with illnesses, chronic diseases, over stressed bodies, poverty, war and hatred. When I look at our modern day coping mechanisms and cannot help but think that we are staying sick because we have never fully learned how to heal.
And man do we have some healing to do in this world – not just from our lives, but from the lives of our ancestors…
While the surface is important, I have to ask myself:
What if I gave myself over FULLY to healing my Embodied Soul?
I’m not talking about taking a few days off to recover from a cold, nor to take a few pills or even a few herbs and a couple some acupuncture needles. I’m not talking about writing a few things in a journal, taking a nice vacation or spending some measly time out In nature. I’m not even talking about working with a great Life Coach or some other external source that can help guide us.
I, as one that seems to becoming an expert on how to heal…am not even really sure what this question means. I do have some ideas though…and most of them center around more questions:
* Am I willing to go into the depths, into the mysterious place that is my body and to root out my thoughts, beliefs, convictions that keep me small, afraid and in accordance with how the world is currently operated?
* Am I willing to even let go of my blame and hatred of the Patriarchy and take FULL responsibility for myself? Who am I if I don’t even have the Patriarchy to blame for the current state of all I don’t like about my life?
* Am I willing to create the physical space and time in my life – birthing less creations and having less than what would be deemed a full life – in order to follow the daily, weekly, monthly and yearly cycle of this womanly body that is OF THE Earth’s rhythm as well?
* Am I willing to survive on less financially in order to make my healing a priority?
* Am I willing to look like a mad-wild-rabies infested animal with knotted hair, foaming mouth and bitter-gut-tearing rage ripping out of my body as I move about? Can I let the tightly bottled lid off of this one and still be admitted in my community?
Would any one -including myself-
be able to handle me, to see me, to hear me in all this rawness…
and to continue to hold space for me just as I am?
Not to just hold space…but to challenge me:
“Is that all you’ve got?”
* Am I willing to let go of and allow my body whatever She needs, whenever She needs it, however She needs it…trusting the process only She knows? Can I fully trust mySelf to heal mySelf?
Somewhere inside of me, I have a feeling there is a yes to these questions that is waiting to break forth. To some of them the “yes” is definitely audible…to others the “yes” is but a whisper if even that…especially to that last one.
And so I sit in these questions, pondering their vibrational energy in my body and taking that energy into my daily devotional movement practice. Moving in and out of the rage, tears, laughter and stillness that are my healing, moving with the mysterious ways of the body to heal…
wondering what my LIFE will look like if I allow myself to FULLY heal?
*Featured Picture Art Credit: Glory of Existence by Louis Dryer