The Dance and The Longing….
I LOVE the dance – of arriving onto a dance floor and throwing myself around, knowing the container can hold me, support me…provide a safe place for more of me to show up in all my mystery. Allowing the music to dance me, to move me…to move through me. To embody the music, the beat, the hidden sound, the watery movement of fire burning beneath my skin.
It is more than a returning home – it is returning to Source…to crouch low, to open wide and feel the waves of energy pulse through me bottom up.
To play with my friends, those that reflect me, that love me just as I am, no pretense, no hiding. And me them. Sinner, Saint. Shadow, Light. Darkness, Laughter. Silliness, Wildness. Resistance, Flow…
It is a riding of all the stages of Orgasmic, Life Creating Bliss – over… and over… and over again. All the way from the Chaotic Climax, luring my breath from my lungs with His persistent drum beat into my Soul…to the Recovery of being Held when I can no longer stand of my own accord. To the upward trend of build, anticipation, excitement…right into the Stillness of Spirit when the music vibration ceases aloud but not within.
And yet – YES AND…there is a longing that matches the ferocity of my love for the Dance. A longing deep within my Womb, within my Being for the Dance that is waiting to be Danced. A Dance that is yearning to be Created with Another…to be Birthed and Gifted to the world.
I have had the privilege of tasting His sweetness but once in the physical. His Strength to lovingly hold, massage, and create magic in flowing with the Power I am. I was not yet capable of fully meeting His loving request to Surrender to His Gift. And so He moved away, creating space for me to learn this within. He is a Gracious Partner, even if He makes my blood boil with desire and anger and longing and frustration all in a moment.
So, I return to the Dance Floor time and again not only for the Orgasmic, Life Creating Bliss it generates in me.
I return also to practice what He has called me to learn.
I return not only for this, but also for the longing that longs to be fulfilled.
I return not only for this, but also to call Him…to call Him home.