I have had another rude awakening this week, coming out of left field and knocking me sideways with little warning. Wow – it is really a shocker to think I was so freakin’ healthy – healthy enough to be helping other women get healthier…only to realize I still in the freakin’ cest pool I’ve been doing my best to climb out of.
I’ve been thinking that my biz is stalling because I cannot commit to myself nor what I need to do in order to “get clients” and fill my practice.
Then yesterday I heard myself say to my therapist, “I’m just not ready to have this pressure of taking on other women’s issues. I’m exhausted and depleted and am struggling to make commitments to myself in areas I’m asking women to make commitments to – no wonder. Who would want to hire me???”
Then it hit me the today that my current method of trying to “get” you as my client isn’t authentic to ME! Trying to get hired is NOT what I’m in this world to do.
So that got me thinking and here is a truth I want you to know about me:
I DON’T WANT TO BE YOUR TEACHER, YOUR MENTOR, YOUR GUIDE NOR ANYTHING ELSE THAT WOULD REQUIRE YOU TO HAND OVER EVEN AN ATOM OF YOUR ENERGY TO ME.
I DO NOT HAVE THE ANSWERS YOU NEED.
And I don’t pretend to have the answers.
Only you have the answer you need.
I firmly believe that and will hold to it even when you don’t!
I am only here to be a deep active listener so that I can reflect back to you your SELF – in which lies your answers.
I don’t want to sell you some nifty package that promises you I have answers for you…
I want you to see YOUR inherent Value. I will hold to that for you when you cannot. And while you are moving your way there…I will ask you to commit to your self by investing in yourself with one that is a good mirror holder.
That I am. I promise you that. I won’t own your shit for you. I won’t let you dodge from owning your shit – to the best of my ability. And I won’t blame you, make your feel belittled or broken or anything else a lot of people who call themselves coaches due to you.
Why do I hold up my coaching practice this way?
Because honestly people’s energy is freakin’ draining me. I have so much of my own energy I am wading thru carefully with my own therapist and coaches, I don’t need yours at all. No thank you!
So please don’t hand me your money and thus your energy and think I will make it all better. You will have to do your work to get where you want to go. I’m simply here to keep asking you the questions that allows you to do that…and to lovingly remind you of your commitment to yourself. That I can do.
Don’t think you are hiring me to fix your problems, to tell you I know better than you nor to simply sit here and complain to me about your life and all the “woo is me”.
We all need time and a place to vent – that is not what I am saying. But that is not what I am open to doing with you. I am open to helping you find your choices, not mine, and to help you learn how to be in your body, trust your voice and move from there.
Don’t come to me thinking I will help convince you as to why you should “hire” me…because I won’t let you hire me at all. I am not for hire. And if you need me to convince you of anything – we are not the right fit.
I just put this up on my home page yesterday about this journey that I am on. If this resonates with you, if it feels good in your belly, then chances are I would be a good mirror for you. But only you can decide that, not me:
All-in-all, I believe that we can solve our “brokenness” problem by learning more about what it really means to be a woman, according to women, from women. Not according to some Bible written by men nor by commercials for the Victoria Secret’s fantasy.
What I have learned is this requires you to be certifiable crazy. Because you will have to learn to be selfish as all hell to take back your voice and your power…not allowing others to milk you dry of your precious life force – both literally and metaphorically.
So there it is, my secret: I don’t think you should hire me, and won’t let you.
I want you to be selfish enough to commit to your self and invest in your worthiness.
Yea it might be all semantics….but there is energy in the way we use our words. Choose wisely.